The Blunt & Beautiful Realities of Moving Abroad
I recently found an old blog I kept from way back in the summer before university. My bio read:
“Just an 18-year-old daydreamer. Stuck in America. I hope to change that though. My ambition is finding myself while living my life and exploring the world.”
11 years on, I’m sitting down to write this in my home in Scotland. I’ve come a long way since then, but didn’t realise just how far I’d go and what realities, blunt & beautiful, I’d take from it.
After a summer spent studying abroad in Italy in 2008, I had found my passion: travel; more specifically, the exploration of what was outside the small bubble that is suburban Georgia. And don’t get me wrong, I miss that small bubble like hell sometimes, but what I’ve come to realise is more than just the idealistic fantasy of what’s beyond your front door step.
These are 5 blunt & beautiful realities of moving abroad.
BLUNT: Y'all, can we take a minute and talk about the weather? Adjusting to climate change can be tough. I went from 4 full seasons and average 90°F (32°C) summers, to 2ish seasons and 70°F being labelled a “heat wave”. Taps aff, y’all!
BEAUTIFUL: But without the 360 (slight exaggeration) days of rain, Scotland wouldn't be as stunning as it is. When the sun does come out, we take full advantage with some of the most beautiful hill walks I’ve ever been on and I’m so thankful to have that at our doorstep, some of which, you won't believe your eyes!
Isle of Skye, Scotland
BLUNT: Say what? Not only is the Scottish accent one of the hardest accents to understand [imho], they even have their own official language, Scots. Trust me when I say the first year you'll find yourself saying what 90% of the time. When I first met my husband, I hadn’t a clue what he was saying, I just nodded and thought, “you’re cute”.
>> It's a braw bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht, ye ken?
BEAUTIFUL: Three and a half years on, I’ve learned that my daughter wears nappies, not diapers. Weans are children, I dinnae ken is I don’t know, tea is dinner and dinner is after tea, and a fanny pack is a bum bag, because a fanny is, well… not a bum.
I'm thankful I've had the opportunity to learn this different way of speaking and the fact that my two-year-old daughter says aye when you ask her a question is pretty much the cutest thing you'll ever hear.
My husband and I decided to make a wee video awhile back, to show the differences between Scottish (and general British) and American words. To take a gander, click on the image below:
BLUNT: From hand washing dishes, to hanging clothes to dry, to driving on the left side of the road (and the never-ending roundabouts!); while there are many similarities between the United States and United Kingdom, there are that many differences.
When I first moved to Scotland, I asked my then roommate, as he showed me around our flat in Edinburgh, "Where is the dish washer? What about the dryer?" I quickly realised we didn't have either. Back to the simple ways in life!
And even though both are not essential to every day life, it took me awhile to get used to not having them. This is not to say that everyone in Europe doesn't have a dish washer or dryer, but it is more common than not.
BEAUTIFUL: Throughout these years, I've become accustom to most of these ways of life. While I'd still prefer to dry clothes in a dryer (we now have one but still never use it), I quite enjoy washing dishes by hand. Why? It's just the three of us, so we don't dirty enough to have a full load, plus I've found it can be very therapeutic.
And those roundabouts? Love them! Who needs lights? Roundabouts allow the flow of traffic to continue, and you don't have to stop for five minutes every 30 feet! It just takes a bit of getting used to.
There are countless other differences, some I prefer, some I don't. I'm slowly accepting and embracing these ways of life and as the years pass, I'll embrace more. But what I've learned to accept is that it takes time; after all, it took 25 years to adjust to my own culture. I'm sure it will take another 25 to adjust to this one.
BLUNT: Now you wouldn’t think there’d be much of a difference in norms between the UK and the US, after all, it was the British that founded the US. But somewhere within those 400+ years, things evolved.
The UK is a great place to live and I truly enjoy being immersed in a different culture, after all, it’s what I set out to do. But it's important to understand, no matter how open and brave you are to a new way of life, it can be the hardest thing you’ll ever do. There are days I feel like a complete outcast, shadowed by the normality of everyone else and it’s hard. And yeah, I cry a lot sometimes.
BEAUTIFUL: But no matter how much I miss home or how weird or different I may feel from everyone else, I know that what I’m doing is LIFE changing. Y’all, it is the most humbling feeling to step out of your comfort zone and immerse yourself in a new culture. One of the most important realisations you will take away from it is that people from all walks of life are just that: people. Humans. And you start to open your mind and heart to ways you never imagined you would.
BLUNT: Once you take the plunge and move abroad, at the time, you don't realise that you've just changed yourself for life, and there's no going back. You step out of what you (thought) you knew was the way of the world; that the way you grew up, went to school, how you talk, what you believe, isn't necessarily the right way (it isn't the wrong way, either!). All of a sudden, who you thought you were, isn't there anymore.
You start to forget how you once were, how you talked, the way you lived, and your ideals and norms. You get told you're so American in the UK and so British in the US and you sometimes lose sight of who you are, or was. And it's a scary thought and trust me, it still terrifies me.
BEAUTIFUL: And then you sit down, and have a cup of coffee with a dear friend (also an expat) and break down in the middle of the cafe and get told the most honest truth you'll ever hear. That yeah, being an expat is hard. People will not always understand who you are and what you're going through and sometimes you won't either.
But what is true is that you're brave and unique and your eyes are now open wider than they ever have been before. That your daughter will grow up with not one, but two cultures she will identify with (and yeah, she will identify more with being Scottish, and that's OK!). And when she's older she might go through the same thing you are and when she comes to you and says, "Mom (or Mum?), how do I get through this?" you'll be able to tell her how to be brave.
And that made me realise that what I'm doing is right (for me). That however hard it can be sometimes, God gave me this life and sent me here for a reason. He gave me a passion for travel and curiosity for culture and it landed me here in Scotland. This is where I am meant to be. And you know what?
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Y'all, thanks for taking the time to read this. It's been weighing on my heart to write this for awhile, if not just for personal therapy! But I do hope it resonates with someone; as us expats, or those wanting to be, are not alone and the journey we're on is definitely one to talk about.
Have you spent time abroad or are an expat? I would love to hear your story.
